Words fail me tonight as I try to express just what Helena and her friendship has meant to me the last few years. Learning of her death today has left me numb and grieving for her three precious treasures who have lost so much so soon in their five years. When Tanya, The Dairy Wife, asked me to be a co-contributor to this blog after she broke the news to me this morning, I knew in my heart that although putting together this place may be a small gesture, many people will appreciate having a place to share and record just how much Helena meant to them. I am honored to be a part of this place for this special woman. It is with sorrow that we come to say good bye to our friend, but it is with love that we dedicate this place to her children: Madison, Zoe, and Jonathan.Helena and I met as members of the PCOS moms Yahoo group almost three years ago, and together we became part of this community of mothers drawn together by two common threads – our diagnosis of PCOS and motherhood. As a group, we have seen each other deal with infertility, and then rejoice together at the miracle of our children. We have cried together at losing the people we love and offered each other a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen when we need support. We have shared our joys at seeing our children grow and achieve the dreams we held deep in our hearts as we stroked our bellies and prayed for their safe deliveries. . . . Helena was an active member and a person who we all could count on for support, encouragement, and love. She, along with her children, were a part of our online family. She is the one who actually introduced me to The Dairy Wife by passing on the award to me that was given to her by Tanya. (http://thriceblessedmomma.blogspot.com/2007/10/ive-been-blessed.html) She wanted me to meet another mom passionate about kids and photography.
When I think of Helena and the things I remember most about her, the first thing I remember is the sudden death of her husband Andrew and how she faced the pain and loss of losing him with an unwavering faith and strength. There is no other person in the world that I know who would have been able to be there for her children first in a situation like that; Helena was a strong mother who was completely dedicated and devoted to her children. I know that she had her moments of intense grief over losing the love of her life, but she knew that Madison, Zoe, and Jonathan were always going to keep Andrew alive in her heart and that living to raise her children well would be the best tribute to his memory.
She was a dedicated and unselfish friend who wanted to make a difference in the lives of the people she loved, and her sense of humor and ability to carry on an educated conversation never ceased to brighten my day. Just ten days ago (on Feb. 15th), I called her to catch up and see how everyone was doing, hoping to let her know she had been in my thoughts and prayers. . . . Wouldn’t you know it - she left me feeling so blessed to be her friend because she took the time to ask about my kids and what was going on in my life. We could talk for hours and I will never forget the conversations we had discussing motherhood, true love, and how crazy I am to live in the hot desert surrounded by snakes, scorpions, and spiders! Although separated by many miles, she was only a phone call or email away and became a special part of my life.
The thing I remember most about her was that she was an awesome mother and 100% focused on her children, their needs, and was an undying advocate for them. For example, I remember when we discussed how the school district wasn’t providing a safe means of transporting her kids to and from school. She kept at them until they did the right thing – install safety seats and provide a safe means of transportation. She could be stubborn and determined when it came to keeping her kids safe. She loved spending time with her kids; reading was an important part of their lives and one of her girls was reading before Kindergarten. (Boy was she proud of that!) I remember that she loved Puff the Magic Dragon and always did her best to expose her three kids to the experiences of a lifetime within her means. I can’t remember a time hearing her complain, although I know that she probably had reasons with being a single mother of three children making her way in this world without her husband by her side. Her heart was always focused on the positive and with her three miracle babies now in Kindergarten, she found so much to be thankful for.
On her blog in her last post she lists eight things she wants to do before she dies. . . .(http://thriceblessedmomma.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-first-meme.html) Reading it today made me cry knowing that Helena wanted to do and accomplish so many things that she wasn’t able to do before she left us – but – there is one big thing that she was able to experience before leaving all of us and that was to see her precious son Jonathan take his first steps. We talked about it a few days after that happened and she was crying and laughing as she recounted this experience. Something tells me that seeing Jonathan walk meant more to her than anything else on that list. As her friend, I am so happy to know that she was able to be there to see that wonderful accomplishment and I know that Andrew was also a part of her thoughts that day as she watched that miracle unfold before her eyes.
So many thoughts came to me today and these are just a few of the things I was able to collect from my memory and share in this small space. I will never forget about Helena and her life. I was so blessed to be not only her online buddy but also her friend. My prayers go out to her family and her precious children.
So grateful for this opportunity to share,
Gina Weeks, another mom blessed by three miracle babies
